Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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