If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
