you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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