I want you more than these girls want KFC
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
