I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
