they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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