I'm lost and stupid without you.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize