Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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