Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
