Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
