If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize