Porn is love you can see.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
