so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
