What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
