We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
