Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
