Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
