wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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