when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
