he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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