we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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