Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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