No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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