Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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