Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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