We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it's like iHOP with fire
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
