Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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