I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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