so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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