Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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