Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
