He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
