i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
