I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
