just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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