and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
