so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You may now shotgun with the bride
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
