Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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