Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
