sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
