Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
