I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
