I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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