you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
