Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
