This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
