You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
