yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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