Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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