I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
