Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
