We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I will die if light touches me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
