she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
