i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
