i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize