I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
