You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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