there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize