Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
