no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
