I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
