He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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